via Amphibian Avenger
via Learn From My Fail
"Never use the term "Lickety-split" to someone new to this country. You will have to explain, frantically, in broken Japanese, that it’s not a sexual suggestion. #LFMF"
"When getting your patients ready for the day, never ask the woman with one leg where her other shoe is. #LFMF"
"If ever you are riding a motorcycle, do not tail gate a horse trailer. You will still get drenched, even if you have a windshield. #LFMF"
"If you have really long hair, never bend over next to the toilet to pick up that paper towel that missed the trash can. #LFMF"
"Never promise your child that "If you can catch a bird, you can keep it." Your four-year-old will catch a plague-infested seagull with a damaged wing. #LFMF"
"Just because an unexplained pain "feels a little better" does not mean you can leave the Emergency Room. If it was bad enough to bring you there, it’s bad enough to be your appendix exploding. #LFMF"
"Never say "want to see something impressive?" to a co-worker while unbuckling your belt. Even if it’s just to show her how many belt-holes you’ve dropped since you started losing weight. #LFMF"
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